But all those weird words and confusing labels have you wanting to grab the nearest bottle with a cat on the label and just get it over with.

What if I told you that you could walk into the grocery store, scan the wine aisle, and buy exactly what you wanted in less time than you can say "happy hour"?

Just imagine if you could, like, actually get a wine list at a restaurant?

Not to mention say those unpronouncable names without wanting to melt into the background like a teenager with a bulging chin zit on the first day of school.

Viognier, anyone? (Ok I'll give you this one, it's vee-oh-nyay, do the N like you're pretending to be Russian.)

Well you're in luck, cause guess what.

Just like you had to back when pimples were the worst of your problems, if you want to learn about wine you gotta get taught.

And just like back then, it's really not harder than Mrs. Featherbottom's 8th grade English class, which we both know you could have aced if you hadn't been too busy staring at the back of Steve Holt's head. I see you.